Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative
“You've got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between”
(Johnny Mercer / Harold Arlen)
This is all about focus, as parents we have the choice – focus on the positive or focus on the negative. First of all this requires us to realise and acknowledge that our children have good points are bad points. Once we have realised this we need to decide which to focus on.
What we must recognise is that whichever we focus will then become more prominent at the detriment of the other.
So if we focus on the negative aspects of our children's character or behaviour these will be seen more and more. The inverse is equally true, focus on the positive behaviour and the negative decreases.
I have seen this work with my children and while discipline is necessary I try to remember to focus on positive behaviour. So, just as I was typing this my son – who should be going to sleep – was making noise and running about.. So, he gets told off but there is more focus on telling him how good he is at going to sleep and asking him to show his Daddy how good he is at it. This praise and encouragement is much more enjoyable for him to hear and it inspires him. Surely this is much better than a frustrated telling off. I know I enjoy this more and the results are far better.
This week try to live out this principle with your children – accentuate the positive to eliminate the negative.
